Christmas shenanigans
by vala411
Summary: A new take on The Night before Christmas and the shenanigans a set of neighbours can come up with. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays to all my readers!Enjoy! This is an XMAS present for my friend RedHawkdude.


**AN: A new take on The Night before Christmas and the shenanigans a set of neighbours can come up with. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays to all my readers!Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Christmas shenanigans**

 _ **'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the lane**_

 _ **Not a creature was stirring, not even the neighbour's great Dane;**_

 _ **The lights were hung on the houses with care,**_

 _ **but only one house decided to remain bare;**_

 _ **The rascals were nestled all snug in their beds,**_

 _ **While visions of candy danced in their heads;**_

 _ **The neighbour reclining in his chair, And I in my cap,**_

 _ **Both settled down to enjoy a long day's nap,**_

It was Christmas eve and Dragons lane had been decorated with heavy snowfall. The white blanket shimmered in the glow of the Christmas lights on all the houses. Well almost all the houses. There was one house on the lane that did not have any decorations up. Old man Mildew's house stood bare amongst the twinkling lights.

Hiccup let out a yawn as he got ready for bed. He gave his black Great Dane, Toothless, a scratch before putting on pajamas and hopping into bed. Eret his neighbour fell asleep in his chair, while Mildew next to him had also gone to bed.

 _ **When outside on the roof there arose such a clatter,**_

 _ **I rushed from my bed to see what was the matter.**_

 _ **My eyes widened and I flew like a flash,**_

 _ **Threw open the door and I rushed forward in a dash.**_

 _ **The moon shone brightly on the fresh fallen snow**_

 _ **Illuminated the objects and the person below,**_

 _ **When, What to my wondering eyes should appear,**_

 _ **A sleigh, my neighbour, and eight mad reindeer,**_

It was late at night when a noise awoke Hiccup. He yawned and stretched before walking to his window to see what was the matter. His eyes widened comically upon seeing the scene. His neighbour in hysterics, a set of legs sticking out from the snow, a sleigh and eight mad reindeer glowering at the man. He grabbed his coat and hurried down, out the door and to his neighbour in record time.

"Oh Hiccup!" Eret shouted glad to see his neighbour. "You have to help me!"

 _ **With the driver, knocked out having fallen from the attic,**_

 _ **I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.**_

 _ **More rapid than ever, we neighbours emerged**_

 _ **Tried to wake old St. Nick as we converged.**_

 _ **Oh dear, oh my, we were in a panic,**_

 _ **For old Saint Nick lay there, this was oh so tragic;**_

 _ **From the sleigh a beeping came,**_

 _ **We were so getting the blame.**_

"What happened?" Mildew asked as he to had been awoken. He glanced at the frantic Eret, the sleigh and the reindeer and then at the man that Hiccup and Eret quickly digged out from the snow. "You've got to be kidding me." He muttered.

"Is that?" Hiccup asked as he took in the appearance of the white bearded man in a red suit.

"I think I just killed Santa!" Eret freaked out. Hiccup bent down to check and told them that the man was just unconscious. Eret breathed a sigh of relief. Both Hiccup and the cranky Mildew however were waiting for answers.

"I thought he was a burglar!" Eret explained. "I woke up to some weird sounds on the roof and went to check. Then I saw the guy trying to climb in my chimney. I yelled, he slipped and well here you are."

"Should we call the cops?" Mildew asked.

"He's Santa!" Hiccup protested.

"And how can you know that?" Mildew retorted and Hiccup gestured towards the sleigh and reindeer on the roof and said "They didn't get there by climbing a ladder!"

Mildew huffed and the three all jumped in shock when a jingling tune beeped suddenly. It seemed to be coming from the sleigh and Hiccup, Eret and Mildew, whose curiosity was killing him, climbed up the ladder to see. The sleigh had a view screen and a blinking light. Hiccup pressed a button and the screen came to life.

 _ **A vision appeared to us that night,**_

 _ **of a mad elf with an axe held tight.**_

 _ **She threatened us with bodily harm,**_

 _ **We scurried back out of alarm.**_

 _ **We had no choice but to assist,**_

 _ **With nary a thought we enlist.**_

 _ **The reindeer were wary, they knew who to blame,**_

 _ **We whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;**_

 _ **"Now Dasher! now Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!**_

 _ **On, Comet! on Cupid!, on, Donner and Blitzen!"**_

 _ **With a sleigh full of toys and St. Nicholas too**_

 _ **We were off this eve, bringing a Merry Christmas to you.**_

"Santa come in…. Are you there?" Came from the other end. Hiccup saw a blond blue eyed woman with a green cap stare into the screen. When she saw them she exclaimed "WHO IN THE CANDY CANES ARE YOU!"

Hiccup scooted back at the volume and the angry blond that was bearing down on them even if it was from behind a screen. He quickly introduced himself and his neighbours.

"What have you done to Santa you munch-bucket-eating-trolls!" She threatened and their eyes widened when she produced an axe from underneath the desk she sat at.

"It was an accident!" Eret quickly shouted, causing the blond to stop cursing.

"Explain before I find you and spill your guts!" She threatened.

So Eret explained and the woman on the other side let out a groan afterwards. She looked at the three and then nodded. "Alright you'll be assisting me then. Grab a spare red suit and put it on."

"Wait what?!" Mildew growled.

"Don't take that tone with me!" She warned. "You're already behind schedule. Time is toys!"

"Uhm…." Hiccup said as he gave the woman a look of uncertainty.

"Right." She mumbled. "I'm Astrid, the head Elf here at Santa's workshop. I'll be your guide this Christmas."

"You don't look like an elf." Eret commented as they put on the large red suits. He didn't want to get this woman angrier than she already was. Surprisingly the suits shrinked to fit them.

"Not all elves have the stereotypical appearance." Astrid said and then lifted her green cap to show them her pointy ears. "Now chop chop. We have presents to deliver."

"Eh…. Astrid, what do we do with Santa?" Hiccup asked as he looked down to the still unconscious man.

"Just throw him in the sleigh before taking off. If he doesn't wake up during the journey I can pour some yaknog down his throat when he gets here."

"Uhm….. okay." Hiccup mumbled.

"You want us to carry that big man up to the roof?" Eret asked as he gave the woman a skeptical look.

"It's your fault that he's off the roof in the first place. Now get to it or you'll meet my axe!" She shouted causing Eret to flinch and scurry down the ladder.

After a gruelling ladder climb they finally managed to get old St. Nick into the leigh. One of his boots was still sticking out but they had a mad elf on their tails to worry about first.

"Alright get this sleigh going. You have presents to deliver." She told them.

"And how do we do that?" Mildew asked as he crossed his arms. "Do you see me fitting through a chimney?!"

"The suits will magically shrink you." She said as if speaking to a three year old. "Now you need to be in London in an hour. America in four."

"So… how do we start this thing?" Eret asked as he tried to avoid the glares from the reindeer. To be safe he gave hiccup the reins. Hiccup thought for a minute before shouting "Now Dasher! now Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! on Cupid!, on, Donner and Blitzen!"

The reindeer clapped their hooves against the roof and started running. Mildew shielded his eyes, not believing that they would fly, Eret screamed like a little girl and held onto Hiccup's waist for dear life and Hiccup, Hiccup merely urged the reindeer faster.

"Whooohooo!" He shouted as the cool air hit them and they were airborne. "I think I'm gonna be sick." Eret mumbled with a hand in front of his mouth as he had glanced. The sleigh's twists and turns and Hiccup's driving weren't especially helpful.

"Please do it outside of the sleigh." Astrid said over the monitor as she gave directions. "I just had the whole thing cleaned this morning."

 _ **To London we flew, as fast as can be,**_

 _ **Dressed all in fur, from our heads to our feet**_

 _ **The reindeer pranced and pawed each hoof,**_

 _ **We could be heard landing on a roof.**_

 _ **A bundle of toys we had flung on our backs,**_

 _ **Like a mad elf after us we went on with our tasks;**_

 _ **We climbed up the chimneys looking all nervous around,**_

 _ **With a jump we went down the chimney and came out with a bound.**_

"Ugh" Eret gasped as Hiccup finally landed the sleigh on a house. He wondered if he should drive next and then blanched as several reindeer glared at him. Mildew and Eret each grabbed a bag and Astrid instructed them to spread out. The first chimneys came into view. Hiccup and the others were very nervous you see, not knowing if the magic would work for them. They all climbed up a chimney and held their breath, they took a leap and jumped in with a bundle of toys on their back. Their suits worked fine and they all ended up near a tree.

 _ **We spoke not a word, but went straight to work,**_

 _ **Filling all the stockings, then turning with a jerk.**_

 _ **Everything was well, all was good,**_

 _ **Until Mildew got stuck halfway down a shoot.**_

All three worked quickly, the sacks and the magic helping them along the way to fill all the stockings that they encountered.

There were several plates of cookies and milk left out. Astrid had told them to eat take the cookies and drink the milk. It would keep the kids believing in Santa.

"Is this why Santa is so well…" Hiccup trailed off as he spoke into the earpiece Astrid had instructed all of them to wear.

"Fat?" She finished for him and then hummed an affirmative. "Mrs. Claus keeps putting him on a diet but we still can't find his secret stash."

"Oh" Was all Hiccup said as he went back up the chimney and to the next house.

Everything was going well and they were finally on schedule, that was until Mildew got himself stuck in a Chimney.

 _ **We all climbed in the chimney to get Mildew out,**_

 _ **We landed on each other without a doubt;**_

 _ **All our clothes were tarnished with ashes and soot,**_

 _ **We all gulped when Hiccup saw a little girl standing by his foot.**_

 _ **She laughed when she saw us, all happy and wide eyed,**_

 _ **Offered us some cookies and milk that were off to the side;**_

 _ **A wink from us and a finger aside the nose,**_

 _ **The girl gave a nod and up the chimney we rose.**_

 _ **We sprang in the sleigh and gave the reindeer a whistle,**_

 _ **And away they all flew as the mad elf started to bristle;**_

 _ **The girl heard them exclaim as they drove out of sight,**_

 _ **HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!**_

There was no way to get Mildew out except by piling onto him. The force knocked him lose and all three ended up falling down the chimney. When they came to they were covered in soot.

"Eh Hiccup" Eret elbowed him and pointed. Hiccup looked up and saw a small girl who could be no older than six holding a unicorn and looking at them in wonder. "Play nice" Hiccup heard Eret whisper to Mildew.

The girl didn't seem to be afraid and instead offered them cookies and milk. Eret fished out the presents from the sack and with a wink from Hiccup and a gesture to keep it a secret they were off once more.

The little girl promised and watched them go, as their sleigh twisted and turned, with Eret holding on for dear life, they drove out of sight and at last they exclaimed "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a Good-night!"

* * *

 **Epilogue**

 _ **With a swish and a flick they were at the North pole,**_

 _ **Their duty fulfilled, Christmas was whole;**_

 _ **A blond elf waited for their return,**_

 _ **She greeted then heartily, and not with a spurn.**_

 _ **They took old St. Nick from the sleigh with care,**_

 _ **Placed him near a fire upon his chair;**_

 _ **Where the Head elf proceeded to pry open his mouth,**_

 _ **She filled it with yaknog and then things went south.**_

 _ **Old St. Nicholas jumped awake,**_

 _ **He ran around like a fruitcake;**_

 _ **His face turned purple and green,**_

 _ **Everyone should know better than to try the Head elf's cuisine.**_


End file.
